I am in early recovery from blackout alcoholic episods.
My Ex Fiancee is having extreme difficulty. For the first week out I was unable to contact her as we both work together. We have been with each other for two years. We have a very special love for each other. My last blackout caused me to strike her. Very upsetting. I never was a violent person in my past. I have been through two marriages and she has been throgugh three. Both of my ex wives were Bi-Polar. The last one severe where she tried to committ suicide 3 times. She has had abusive relationships in the past and I was the last straw.
Last week she asked me over to her apartment (She moved out of our dwelling). We were to be married this year in October. She continues to tell me she is so very much in Love with me and I know this to be true. I am so in Love with her. Now nothing I say can help. She does not want any help from me. We do talk and have dinner and I attend AA meetings. She is alone in this city and has no friends. Her family is 3000 miles away. She says all the support is for me and she has none. She has a lot of Alanon experience. She is so devistated and does not want me to be out of her life however she does not want me to live with her any more. I stay positive and my alcohol addiction was compounded by having a gastic by-pass surgery 5 years ago. So anytime I drink I blackout and become angry. I have had a lot of mental stress problems this year, new relationship with a normal person who does not need to be fixed. I was always the fixer. I became Compulsively Obssessed with her. I was always right and never wrong. I realize all this now and I also am seeing a therapist. She does not. We have made Love everyday and that is for both of us the most beautiful part of our world. We spiritually connect. She is so down on herself now and is struggling. I want to spend the rest of my life happy with her. I am doing all the programs for me to make it so. I am not a bad person but when I drink, I become very bad. She is so scared that could happen again and I do understand. I have crushed this womans dreams and hopes and I am so ashamed and depressed about it myself. I admitt all fault in this. She wonders why I did it. She was always telling me to stop and I do not believe she understands the nature of the alcohol destroying all thought process. Wow, what a story. Any thoughts?
My Ex Fiancee is having extreme difficulty. For the first week out I was unable to contact her as we both work together. We have been with each other for two years. We have a very special love for each other. My last blackout caused me to strike her. Very upsetting. I never was a violent person in my past. I have been through two marriages and she has been throgugh three. Both of my ex wives were Bi-Polar. The last one severe where she tried to committ suicide 3 times. She has had abusive relationships in the past and I was the last straw.
Last week she asked me over to her apartment (She moved out of our dwelling). We were to be married this year in October. She continues to tell me she is so very much in Love with me and I know this to be true. I am so in Love with her. Now nothing I say can help. She does not want any help from me. We do talk and have dinner and I attend AA meetings. She is alone in this city and has no friends. Her family is 3000 miles away. She says all the support is for me and she has none. She has a lot of Alanon experience. She is so devistated and does not want me to be out of her life however she does not want me to live with her any more. I stay positive and my alcohol addiction was compounded by having a gastic by-pass surgery 5 years ago. So anytime I drink I blackout and become angry. I have had a lot of mental stress problems this year, new relationship with a normal person who does not need to be fixed. I was always the fixer. I became Compulsively Obssessed with her. I was always right and never wrong. I realize all this now and I also am seeing a therapist. She does not. We have made Love everyday and that is for both of us the most beautiful part of our world. We spiritually connect. She is so down on herself now and is struggling. I want to spend the rest of my life happy with her. I am doing all the programs for me to make it so. I am not a bad person but when I drink, I become very bad. She is so scared that could happen again and I do understand. I have crushed this womans dreams and hopes and I am so ashamed and depressed about it myself. I admitt all fault in this. She wonders why I did it. She was always telling me to stop and I do not believe she understands the nature of the alcohol destroying all thought process. Wow, what a story. Any thoughts?